What does it mean to be a Silent Birthkeeper?
It is nearly a year since my dear teacher, mentor and friend Michel Odent passed away. In the weeks and months after his death, I found myself returning to his books. I remember lying in bed one evening reading The Functions of the Orgasms when I came across these words: “It will take a long time to rediscover the importance of silence and to accept that the dominant quality of a midwife should be her capacity to keep her mouth shut.” I sat up in bed and laughed out loud. It felt so quintessentially Michel. Almost as though he was speaking from beyond the grave and making it very clear that one of the key components of being a trusted guardian of birth is knowing how to be quiet. So much of birth work is focused on doing. What should we do? What should we say? How should we reassure? How should we support? And yet one of the key components of creating an optimal environment for physiology to do her dance may simply be to… as Michel so aptly put it… is to shut up… But silence is about so much more than not talking. Silence also has to do with our internal state. All that chatter we tend to carry around as human beings. Can we sit quietly with ourselves before we attempt to do that for another? When we are in conversation with someone, can we simply listen? Can we be fully present without judgement or criticism, without planning our own response or thinking about what we might say next? Can we open our hearts and simply receive another human being as she is? With, dare I say it, love? Perhaps this is where the practice of being a Silent Birthkeeper begins. Silence is not passivity. A Silent Birthkeeper is not a passive birthkeeper. Nor is she an indifferent one. Nothing could be further from the truth. A Silent Birthkeeper is deeply present. She is attuned to the rhythms, sounds, smells and movements of labour. She understands that for a woman to birth her baby, there is a vital life force that needs to move through her, and that this needs to be protected. Another phrase Michel exclaimed again and again was: “The keyword is protection!” A Silent Birthkeeper is a protector of birth and of the birthing process. She understands, in the words of Liliana Lammers, that: “Birth is a story between two people: the mother and the baby.” And she learns to discern the difference between doing nothing because she is afraid or doesn’t know what to do, and doing nothing because nothing needs to be done. There is an enormous difference. The basic needs are simple. Living them is not. The basic needs of a woman in labour are remarkably simple. And yet they can be surprisingly difficult to protect because, as human beings, we so often want to do. We want to help. Reassure. Rescue. Feel useful. The Silent Birthkeeper asks something else of us. To become deeply attuned while learning to prowl the perimeter of the birthing field as protectors of what is unfolding. Perhaps you are curious about what this looks like in practice. Come and gather with us on 20 August On Thursday 20 August, I am holding a free online information gathering for anyone who feels curious about the Silent Birthkeeper and would like to understand more. We will meet for one hour, from 11:00–12:00 SAST. We will share more about the immersion, how our year together unfolds and what we explore, and there will be space for...
Read MoreReflections on Our Study Spiral Honouring Michel Odent
Last week’s Study Spiral, Peace on Earth Begins at Birth, was one of those gatherings that quietly settles into the bones. Days later, I am still carrying the tenderness and the sense of profound connection that arose as we came together to honour the life and legacy of Michel Odent, a man whose work has shaped, guided, and challenged so many of us walking the path of True Midwifery. There are moments in this work that feel like thresholds, where something subtle shifts in the collective field. This Spiral felt like one of them. A Visit From Liliana The most moving part of our time together was the presence of Liliana, Michel’s partner in life, birth, and death. With an honesty that was both steady and fragile, she shared a recent birth she attended, a story woven with sensitivity, intuition, and that unmistakable presence of someone who has lived and breathed birth for decades. She also spoke about the tenderness of Michel’s passing, her own grieving, and the intimacy of accompanying someone you have walked beside for so long. Her words did not come as teaching, but as transmission: a kind of living echo of Michel’s essence. We became, without needing to try, a circle of elephants, quietly standing with her, holding her experience, her remembering, and her love. In that moment, the Spiral became what it always hopes to be:a place where wisdom meets humanity, and where our collective holding becomes a form of care. The Lineage of Love and Attention One of Michel’s most important teachings — and one Liliana echoed — is this: “Birth is a story between two people — the mother and the baby.” It’s such a simple sentence. And yet, in a world where birth has become increasingly technologised, politicised, and crowded with opinions, this truth feels more radical than ever. The mother.The baby.Two nervous systems finding each other.Two bodies completing an ancient dance. Everything else is secondary. Our Spiral felt like a return to that simplicity, not in a nostalgic way, but in a deeply embodied, grounded way. A remembering of what is actually essential. Continuing Michel’s Care After the session, I reached out to thank Liliana and asked whether there was a charity or cause that reflected Michel’s values, something to which we could donate the proceeds of the gathering. Her answer surprised me with its sweetness. She told me that Michel had always been especially protective of the birds and squirrels in their neighbourhood in London. Feeding them was a daily ritual of kindness. She still continues this small act on his behalf. She suggested we donate to London Wildlife Protection, a local organisation that cares for urban wildlife. And so, in honour of Michel, that is exactly what we will do. I find something beautiful in this:that our Spiral community, gathered in his name, will help feed the birds and squirrels he loved. A simple, humble continuation of his care. An Invitation Into Our Final Spiral of 2025 As we close this year of Study Spirals, a year rich with learning, remembering, and returning to the roots of our craft, we have one final gathering remaining. And it is a special one. Closing the Bones with Jodi Jade In December, we welcome Jodi Jade, who will guide us into the lineage, history, and deeper purpose of the Traditional Mexican Closing of the Bones ceremony. This Spiral will be an exploration of: the origins of the Rebozothe wisdom of rites of passagehow ritual restores what modern life often fracturesthe variations and deep healing potential of Closing the Bonesand the essential elements of postpartum care and community holding It feels like...
Read MoreCarrying the Thread: A Soft Tribute to Michel Odent
As I prepare for my talk this coming Thursday, Peace on Earth Begins at Birth — Honouring the Work and Legacy of Michel Odent with Ruth Ehrhardt and Clara Scropetta, alongside my friend Clara Scropetta, I am filled with tender emotion.
Read MoreRemembering my friend Michel…
In all honesty, I have no words to express the loss of my friend, mentor, teacher Michel Odent. At this time I feel I just want to sit in silence to honour his passing…in the same way he encouraged us to do for mother and baby as they transition. I will miss his wisdom, his humility, his endless curiosity, his ability to think outside the box, his constantly challenging us… His sense of humour… May those of us left behind remember and stay true to his work and legacy. May we continue to bring peace to Earth by healing birth on this planet. Go well Michel. Hamba Kahle….* “Hamba kahle” is an isiZulu and isiXhosa phrase meaning “Go well“. It is used as a farewell, often said to someone who is leaving, and it can also be a respectful way to say goodbye to a person who has...
Read MoreComing Back to the Simple
A heartfelt reflection on birth, physiology, and the wisdom shared by Michel Odent and Liliana Lammers. Coming back to the simple in True Midwifery.
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