The Basic Needs of Babies – a Time to Slow Down
In our fast-paced world, the arrival of a newborn offers an invitation to pause, reconnect, and reflect on what these smallest humans truly need from us. Maria Montessori spoke of the spiritual embryo, a phase of human development that is as significant as the physical growth within the womb. She believed that after birth, the newborn still requires a special, nurturing environment — animated, loving, warm, and rich with nourishment — where everything is done to accommodate, and nothing to hamper their development. This is the heart of The Basic Needs of Babies course and workshop. Designed for parents-to-be, new parents, grandparents, educators, health professionals, midwives, doulas, and birth attendants, this online course is a space to explore how we can gently and practically meet the fundamental needs of newborns. Whenever we gather to run this course, I am deeply moved by how it becomes a true time of deepening. Together, we slow down and become more present — for ourselves, for one another, and most importantly, for the babies arriving in our world. Course topics include:– Understanding the spiritual embryo and our responsibility in nurturing the newborn’s inner world– Creating a sense of belonging and authentic connection for newborns and families– Learning from pioneers such as Maria Montessori, Adele Costa Gnocchi, Frédérick Leboyer, Michel Odent, and Nils Bergman– Exploring the basic needs of mothers in labour and the newborn child– Becoming fluent in the language of newborns through behaviour and subtle cues– The neuroscience of connection and secure attachment This is a time to pause, to listen, and to remember what the youngest humans need to feel safe, seen, and welcomed into the world. The Basic Needs of Babies Course runs from 30 September 2025 to 21 April 2026, with an early bird discount available until 31 July 2025. Click here to book your...
Read MoreThe Power of the Lullaby
Written reflections for Mother’s Day — 11 May 2025 Yesterday was Mother’s Day — and with this commemoration of Mothers and Motherhood, I want to feel into the power of the lullaby: what it means for motherhood, and what it truly is. The power of the lullaby. There are a few threads I want to explore: Discovering the power of the lullaby as a motherDiscovering its power in labourAnd witnessing how it settles the nervous system — not just for the baby, but for everyone When I say “lullaby,” I don’t just mean Hush, Little Baby or Rock-a-bye Baby — though those songs have their place. It’s more than that. Having had four children, I found myself — again and again — in the darkness and stillness of the night, alone with my baby. In those moments, I had to draw on an inner strength, very similar to how I had to tap into that inner strength in labour. There are times when every mother reaches that place — where it feels like you almost can’t go on, yet there you are: rocking, walking, lying with, or feeding your baby. Deep presence is called for. I believe that the essence of the lullaby was born from those moments. It’s the rhythm, the repetition — that rocking motion, both sonic and physical — that makes a lullaby so powerful. Many are passed down through generations and across cultures. They’re usually very simple. Like the Zulu lullaby Tula Baba. Just Tula Baba, Tula Baba… over and over again. It’s not about the complexity. It’s about the transmission. The lullaby is drawn from the place where you feel you have nothing left to give. It’s from that well that so much of motherhood is sourced. And it is a deep, incredible power to be able to tap into that. In labour, I found something similar. Each of my births taught me something different, but in all of them, my voice became a tool. A resource. With my fourth birth, it wasn’t just a tool — it became a channel. When a surge came and I fully opened to it, a sound emerged that was high, pure, and clean. I wasn’t using my voice just to express; I was letting something move through me. It became a channelling of life force. I’ve sung my whole life. It’s always been a way of expressing myself. But singing after birth — after having resourced myself through voice in labour and then using that same voice to connect with my children — something changed. I no longer feel like I’m singing from myself. I feel like I’m singing through myself. That I’m resourcing from the infinite. That’s what labour teaches. What motherhood teaches. That we can only go so far within ourselves. There comes a point where we must draw from beyond — from life force, God, Great Spirit… Now, when I sing, I don’t feel like I’m the one doing it. My voice is the instrument, my body the tool, but what’s moving through is life itself. That is the power of the...
Read MoreI hardly know where to begin to describe the impact of The Silent Birthkeeper course…
and the deeply safe and nourishing community that comes with it – has had on my life. I just gave birth to my firstborn. Having had the immense blessing of having my pregnancy unfold in tandem with this course. Currently he is nuzzled up against my chest in our dimly lit birthing cave. He’s 5 days old. I’ve felt the calling towards becoming a traditional birthkeeper ever since I was a little girl, listening to the tales of my grandmother. Of how the women of the frozen tundra gave birth, close to the fire, safely nestled inside their tents, with their sisters and grandmothers humming outside. The men out hunting, seeking an offering for a safe passage of the new soul. Never until now though, have I actually been present in a birthing space. The arrival of my baby boy was my initiation. Both to motherhood, and to the deep deep certainty that supporting women to feel empowered, loved and safe during conception, childbearing, childbirth and beyond – is a prayer I’ll devote my life towards. I’ve experienced first hand the impact that the teachings, love, support and wisdom offered through this course and its wonderful teachers – can have on a woman journeying towards motherhood. As well as on a birthkeeper at the very beginning of her path. It has taught me why birthkeeping matters. The importance of self care as we aim to care for others. I has made me realise how common it is for women to birth without having the basic needs of a woman in labour met. It has made me ask around among my own friends, sisters, mothers – and learn of their birth stories. Listening to them has made me realise even more the extent of the unspoken trauma that so many women experience during birth. Their feeling of loneliness. Of isolation. I am so deeply grateful to Ruth, Lana, Samara and all the wonderful guest teachers coming to us from all over the world. Showing up in this deeply held container to share their stories, their work and their experience with us. Truly it is such a gift. The teachings I’ve received and the friends that I’ve made here,I will carry with me for the rest of my life. – Noo, Artist, Mother and Silent Birthkeeper 2023-2024 Welcome little one! Your magnificent Mama! For more information or to book your place on the upcoming Silent Birthkeeper one-year immersion please see...
Read MoreHolding Death as Birthkeepers
“…if you are a birth keeper, you must also be a death midwife. If you support people to enter the earth realm, you must also become a midwife for those who pass on.” – Dr Mmatshilo Motsei The first time I ever saw a dead body it was a baby. I was 9 years old and we had very recently made the move to the farm. The little girl had been born on the drive to the hospital after her mother had gone into labour on Christmas Eve. She had emerged whilst the bakkie (the pick up truck) was winding down Gydo pass, to the town of Ceres. She had lain, wet and alone, at her mother’s feet and had begun to grow cold. By the time they had reached the hospital she was no longer breathing. (You can read AN’NOOI’S BIRTH STORY here) At the funeral, which was held in the bushman graveyard on the farm, her father unscrewed her little coffin for us to all see. The coffin was no bigger than a shoe box. She was perfect. Beautiful. Angelic. I will never forget her face and her little fingers. Her little body dressed and swathed in silken white. She looked like she was asleep… There was something so pure, so innocent about this death. Her mother sobbed at her graveside whilst the rest of us looked on not knowing what to say. My mother had been asked to oversee the funeral, she wore a big sun hat and read from the Bible. The women began to sing as the tiny coffin was covered in sad and red clay soil. Assie verlossers huis toe gaan Assie verlossers huis toe gaan Oh Here help my dat ek kan saam gaan Assie verlossers huis toe gaan (When the saviours return home When the saviours return home Oh Lord help me, that I may return with them When the saviours return home) ——————————————- Birth should be about life shouldn’t it? And yet, as Mmatshilo’s quote illustrates, we cannot work in the realm of birth without knowing that death walks along this life giving force as well. “We come from spirit, come from light, shining in the stars at night” – Martyn John Taylor (SHINE) The fact that birth and death carry a similar energy became evident to me after I experienced the massive loss of having my mother, my sister and my step father wrenched from this life. Whilst I grieved, I also noticed the familiar tenderness that comes with the thinning of the veils, the sensitivity, the vulnerability, the same openness that I had carried after giving birth. BIRTH AND DEATH ARE INFINITELY INTERTWINED It is very difficult to talk about and face death when it accompanies birth. And yet it is a conversation that needs to be had. How do we hold Death as birth attendants, birthkeepers, as space holders for birth? I am not sure that I have the answers … but I do my best to initiate conversations and to create safe spaces for us to explore these topics that are so emotive and important in this work. The following True Midwifery online offerings will explore this topic in depth and from different perspectives, in a safe and held container and within a beautiful community: 25 July 2024 – STUDY SPIRAL: Holding Grief and Loss in Pregnancy and Childbirth with Nadia Maheter 4 September 2024 – 15 January 2025 – Birth First Aid for Mother and Baby 14 November 2024 – 13 November 2025 – Silent Birthkeeper: One Year Immersion into True...
Read MoreWhy Birth First Aid?
The First Time I Ever Resuscitated a Baby on my own I remember the first time I had to resuscitate a baby on my own. It had been a fairly average first labour. It started in the middle of the night and trotted along into the new day. The mother was surprised at the intensity of the surges but she rode them quietly and stoically. The emergence of the baby was slow and as her mother crouched, she was born gently onto the floor onto a soft pile of towels. Some mothers scoop their babies up immediately, while others take their time, looking, smelling, and touching. Still, others need to take their time, first processing the enormity of the event before being able to look and engage. As long as the space is warm and the mother and baby are left undisturbed all are variations of normal. In this case, the mother was slow to interact with her baby, I believe she was initially taken aback at the sight of her newborn. It became evident that this baby was not responding after being born, not showing much muscle tone and not breathing. Helping Babies Breathe I had recently been trained in the Helping Babies Breathe (HBB) programme as a facilitator through Operation Smile and worked as a volunteer for some of their educational missions in Africa. What I love about this programme is its simplicity: its focus on normal birth, preparedness, its understanding for working in low-resourced and out-of-hospital settings, as well as the all important MotherBaby needs like skin-to-skin and not cutting the umbilical cord. As a skilled birth attendant, you make a difference In the HBB programme, we are taught that the majority of babies are totally fine at birth and require little more than skin-to-skin contact with their mother – but that around 10% require gentle assistance in transitioning from womb life. These are some of the skills we will be focusing on in the upcoming Birth First Aid series of workshops that I will be offering for the month of November. Extreme neonatal resuscitation is rare in healthy pregnancies and births and usually is an indicator of some other underlying issue. Why Birth First Aid? If we are attending births on a regular basis, especially when a birth is left to unfold as it should, we come into contact with the beauty and simplicity that is birth and we receive the regular imprint that birth works and that birth is safe. But every once in a while, nature throws us a curve ball, and in the same way as we expect someone who works with children to be prepared if a child chokes, we want to be prepared for those rare times when a mother or baby does require assistance. In the case of the birth I was describing at the beginning of this post/letter – it felt clear that this baby was struggling. Muscle memory from my HBB training kicked in, and with her cord still attached and intact, between her mother’s legs on the floor, we worked together to gently remind her that she needed to breathe. And she did… I invite you to join us We will be gathering weekly for the month of November on these dates: 2, 9, 16, and 23 November 2022 via zoom from 11am – 2pm SAST (GMT+2) COST: 130 Euro / 130 USD / 1250 ZAR All sessions will be recorded and made available to you for one month after the call For more information or to book your place please email me at truemidwife@gmail.com What we will cover over...
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