The Basic Needs of Babies – a Time to Slow Down
In our fast-paced world, the arrival of a newborn offers an invitation to pause, reconnect, and reflect on what these smallest humans truly need from us. Maria Montessori spoke of the spiritual embryo, a phase of human development that is as significant as the physical growth within the womb. She believed that after birth, the newborn still requires a special, nurturing environment — animated, loving, warm, and rich with nourishment — where everything is done to accommodate, and nothing to hamper their development. This is the heart of The Basic Needs of Babies course and workshop. Designed for parents-to-be, new parents, grandparents, educators, health professionals, midwives, doulas, and birth attendants, this online course is a space to explore how we can gently and practically meet the fundamental needs of newborns. Whenever we gather to run this course, I am deeply moved by how it becomes a true time of deepening. Together, we slow down and become more present — for ourselves, for one another, and most importantly, for the babies arriving in our world. Course topics include:– Understanding the spiritual embryo and our responsibility in nurturing the newborn’s inner world– Creating a sense of belonging and authentic connection for newborns and families– Learning from pioneers such as Maria Montessori, Adele Costa Gnocchi, Frédérick Leboyer, Michel Odent, and Nils Bergman– Exploring the basic needs of mothers in labour and the newborn child– Becoming fluent in the language of newborns through behaviour and subtle cues– The neuroscience of connection and secure attachment This is a time to pause, to listen, and to remember what the youngest humans need to feel safe, seen, and welcomed into the world. The Basic Needs of Babies Course runs from 30 September 2025 to 21 April 2026, with an early bird discount available until 31 July 2025. Click here to book your...
Read MoreChildbirth, Eros and Sexuality
This has been a long requested Study Spiral and Debora is the perfect person to bring this offering to these sessions. She is a beautiful and tender birth attendant who truly understands what it means to guard and protect birth and she has immersed herself a myriad of teachings on intimacy, touch and sexuality. She has a deep understanding of how these worlds are intertwined and I very much look forward to what she will be sharing with us. In this session, we’re going to explore something truly extraordinary—the deep, interconnected system that makes human life on Earth possible. Menstruation, sexuality, orgasm, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding are all part of one grand design—a bridge between dimensions. This system connects cosmic and earthly consciousness, the divine and the animal, celestial mechanics and our physical bodies. The reproductive-sexual system is the sacred shrine where life itself is propagated, and in this session, we’ll restore a vision that brings birth and sexuality together into a single, beautiful tapestry. We’ll uncover how the continuity of life—across all species—is intimately linked to pleasure and eros. Join us as we honor the extraordinary system that sustains life and explore how birth and sexuality are woven together in ways that are both powerful and sacred. About Debora In the field of love and eros, I am an all-round activist, from the political-socio-cultural to the holistic-spiritual-shamanic perspective. I practice Yoga of Touch and facilitate circles, retreats and individual session on pleasure, intimacy, sensuality, relating, communication, emotional and bodywork. I am a birthkeeper and doula, deeply involved in public speaking and advocating in this field. I deal with attachment parenting, spontaneous learning, non-directive education, trauma and conditioning related to the primal period and childhood, unlearning, paradigm shifts. Death and grief doula. Facilitator of group processes. Passionate about deep ecology, bioregionalism, biophilia, I accompany groups and individuals in nature connection activities, wilderness awareness, outdoor education and experiential learning. MusicArTherapist, percussionist, vocalist, performer, dance teacher. I make goddesses and vulvas from clay. Traveller, expert in divergent lifestyles, activist. Debora’s Social Media Links Instagram Facebook Telegram To book for the upcoming study spiral see...
Read MoreI hardly know where to begin to describe the impact of The Silent Birthkeeper course…
and the deeply safe and nourishing community that comes with it – has had on my life. I just gave birth to my firstborn. Having had the immense blessing of having my pregnancy unfold in tandem with this course. Currently he is nuzzled up against my chest in our dimly lit birthing cave. He’s 5 days old. I’ve felt the calling towards becoming a traditional birthkeeper ever since I was a little girl, listening to the tales of my grandmother. Of how the women of the frozen tundra gave birth, close to the fire, safely nestled inside their tents, with their sisters and grandmothers humming outside. The men out hunting, seeking an offering for a safe passage of the new soul. Never until now though, have I actually been present in a birthing space. The arrival of my baby boy was my initiation. Both to motherhood, and to the deep deep certainty that supporting women to feel empowered, loved and safe during conception, childbearing, childbirth and beyond – is a prayer I’ll devote my life towards. I’ve experienced first hand the impact that the teachings, love, support and wisdom offered through this course and its wonderful teachers – can have on a woman journeying towards motherhood. As well as on a birthkeeper at the very beginning of her path. It has taught me why birthkeeping matters. The importance of self care as we aim to care for others. I has made me realise how common it is for women to birth without having the basic needs of a woman in labour met. It has made me ask around among my own friends, sisters, mothers – and learn of their birth stories. Listening to them has made me realise even more the extent of the unspoken trauma that so many women experience during birth. Their feeling of loneliness. Of isolation. I am so deeply grateful to Ruth, Lana, Samara and all the wonderful guest teachers coming to us from all over the world. Showing up in this deeply held container to share their stories, their work and their experience with us. Truly it is such a gift. The teachings I’ve received and the friends that I’ve made here,I will carry with me for the rest of my life. – Noo, Artist, Mother and Silent Birthkeeper 2023-2024 Welcome little one! Your magnificent Mama! For more information or to book your place on the upcoming Silent Birthkeeper one-year immersion please see...
Read MoreThe Good ol’ Thinking Brain
One of the most essential things in meeting the basic needs of a woman in labour is to ensure that her thinking brain or her neocortex is well and truly switched off and understimulated. What is the neocortex? Simply put, it is our ‘thinking brain’ and is the most newly developed part of the brain. In humans, it is very developed and makes it possible for us to do all the wonderful things that make us human. Unfortunately, it also makes it much harder for us (as opposed to other mammals) to allow labour to just happen…our thinking brain tends to stand in the way of oxytocin (the love hormone and the hormone that makes that uterus contract) flowing freely. The thinking brain needs to switch off One of the prime ingredients for shy oxytocin to take effect is that the thinking brain needs to switch off. We need to make sure that the labouring woman’s thinking brain is not stimulated. We stimulate the neocortex during labour by talking to the labouring woman about logical things, such as telling her how many centimetres dilated she is, or asking her to remember when her waters broke. We stimulate her neocortex with these observations and questions, and as a result, we slow down her release of oxytocin. A woman needs to be able to slowly fall into her labour (like falling asleep) and not be ‘woken up’ by the outside world. If she can be given the space to switch off her neocortex, oxytocin will be able to do its job. No observers Feeling observed also stimulates the neocortex, so it is important that the mother does not feel watched. Observers and unnecessary people make the mother feel observed. Cameras can also slow labour down because they can make a mother feel observed which will “wake her up.” Darkness It is important that there are no bright lights around a labouring woman. Drawn curtains, candles and other forms of dim lighting, will help to suppress the thinking brain and aid in the stimulation of oxytocin. Warmth The labouring woman needs to be warm. A fire or a heater or warm water is helpful in relaxing her body and her neocortex. In fact, immersing herself in warm water at the right time (when she is in established active labour) can relax the mother so much that her cervix will dilate completely. The ideal birth attendant The ideal birth attendant understands that talking and asking questions will stimulate the labouring mother’s neocortex. Therefore, she keeps talking to a minimum and will try to answer as many questions as possible on behalf of the labouring mother. This way the mother doesn’t need to be ‘woken up’ from her labour. The ideal birth attendant knows that bright lights stimulate the neocortex and so she makes sure that the lights are dimmed or off or that the curtains are drawn during the day. The ideal birth attendant knows that the labouring mother needs to be warm in order to relax and for her oxytocin to release and flow. She makes sure that the room is sufficiently heated and knows that a warm shower or bath can work very well as a form of pain...
Read MoreHello Darkness my old friend
So the uterus, amongst all the other marvellous things it does (“There is no other organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ they would brag about it. So should we.” – Ina May Gaskin), apparently ALSO has melatonin receptors attached to it. These receptors work in conjunction with good ol’ oxytocin, aiding the contractions of the uterus, which dilate the cervix and, if undisturbed, will elicit a foetus ejection reflex . Melatonin is the hormone that anticipates the daily onset of darkness and cannot be secreted when it is light. Which is why we need to switch off lights and screens, to fall asleep. Seems we need darkness to go into labour too…which is probably why most labours begin at night and why most call outs for midwives are during the witching hour. It is important that there are no bright lights around a labouring woman. Drawn curtains, candles and other dim lighting will help aid in the stimulation of oxytocin. How do other mammals prepare for birth? They will find a quiet, dark place, far away from anyone, somewhere where they will feel safe and secure and know that they will be undisturbed. We often forget that we humans are mammals too. We are above all of that by now aren’t we? What with all our technology and higher thinking and sophistication? But when a woman goes into labour, her body responds like every other mammal who seeks safety, comfort, protection, warmth and darkness to give birth. A birth I attended recently, saw me arriving to a woman in labour in her bedroom. Her two year old son slept on her bed while her husband sat and watched television in the next room. The bedroom light was on, a stark, white light from a naked bulb. There was no bedside light or a dimmer light available. I asked the father if he had any candles in the house and we made some makeshift candle holders using stainless steel cups and sand and set those up in the bedroom. And then we turned off the lights. It was as though the room breathed out all its tension as the room warmed with the golden glow of the flickering candle light and the mother was able to go into that mammal state that she needed to be in to birth her baby. She had a mattress on the floor and now lay down there and began to moan softly. Labour sped up.Ten minutes later her waters broke and five minutes after that I was handing her her daughter. So simple…and yet so overlooked. Isn’t it interesting the way most labour wards are still so brightly lit, and all for the convenience of the caregiver? For what other purpose does it...
Read More