The Silent Birthkeeper – The Art of Honouring Silence in Birth
“It will take a long time to rediscover the importance of silence and to accept that the dominant quality of a midwife should be her capacity to keep her mouth shut.”— Michel Odent, The Functions of the Orgasms (2009) I laughed out loud when I re-read these words from Michel recently. It felt as though he was shouting from beyond the grave — reminding us again of the impossible simplicity of creating the optimal environment for birth. He is, of course, speaking about the basic needs of the labouring woman, and how to create the ideal conditions for oxytocin to flow freely. Silence, a key component, connects to the understanding that when in labour, stimulating a woman’s neocortex (her thinking brain) will only “wake her” from the primal mammalian state needed for the rich cocktail of hormones to flow — allowing pure physiology to unfold. “You cannot manage an involuntary process, the point is not to disturb it.” Why do I call this an impossible simplicity? Because we humans love to talk. Even if we understand in theory that birth unfolds best in silence, it is difficult in practice. Whether to ask practical questions like: “How long since your waters broke?”“When did labour start?”“How far apart are the contractions?” Or to offer words of comfort like: “You’re doing so well.”“You can do this.” Each of these requires the mother to leave her primal state and re-engage her thinking brain. An important practice of true midwifery is therefore to learn to say little to nothing in the birthing space — unless it is truly required. The Basic Needs of a Woman in Labour To feel safeTo switch off the neocortex (thinking brain)SilenceDarknessNot feeling observedWarmthLow levels of adrenaline When these needs are honoured, the result can be the foetus ejection reflex — the natural, undisturbed unfolding of birth. Michel reminds us: “From a practical perspective we are now in a position to present authentic midwifery as the art of creating the conditions for a foetus ejection reflex.” Why The Silent Birthkeeper? The Silent Birthkeeper is a one-year journey into True Midwifery. It is for those who feel the quiet calling in their bones — who know there is more to birthwork than protocols and procedures, and who long to sit at the edges of birth, holding space with reverence, humility, and trust. Over 12 months, we will walk together through presence, knowledge, and practice — exploring the basic needs, the art of listening, self-care and community care, storytelling, ceremony, and the foundations of midwifery. This is not a course, but a year-long initiation — a space to soften, listen, and remember. Join the Circle The Silent Birthkeeper runs from 5 February 2026 – 11 February 2027.Bookings are now open, with early bird pricing until the end of November. Learn more and book your place...
Read MoreWhat Does It Mean to Be a Midwife Today?
I’ve been travelling and mostly unplugged these past weeks, but I keep dipping back into the True Midwifery online community to feel its pulse. And every time, I’m reminded how rare it is to find a space that runs on love, trust, and discernment. It’s not that we all agree. Far from it. We come from different trainings, traditions, and ways of working. But there’s a deep respect for one another’s paths — and in the birth world, that’s something precious. Lately, our upcoming Study Spiral has stirred up some big feelings for me around the topic of modern-day witch hunts. And I keep coming back to this: so often, they are about women not trusting each other. Turning on each other to feel safe, or to keep our footing in a system that doesn’t truly support us. In birth work, it’s the same old pattern — patriarchy’s favourite trick: divide and rule. The Splintering of Our Roles One way this shows up is in the way we’ve created countless “safe” titles so we can be allowed to serve mothers and babies. Birthkeeper. Doula. Traditional Birth Attendant. Once, all of these roles were simply what it meant to be a midwife — a person who stood beside the mother and baby through the threshold of birth. Now, we’ve been split and split and split again. With every division, we’re more restricted, more regulated, more over-specialised… and less able to offer the full, holistic care mothers and babies actually need. A Lesson from the Anamaboya I was reminded of this when I sat with the Anamaboya — the traditional Shona midwives in Zimbabwe. I shared with them the different titles we see nowadays, and they looked at me with quiet confusion, as if I’d just asked for a different word for love, or for water. “What do you call yourselves?” I asked. “Anamaboya,” they said simply. Midwife. Grandmother. Their qualification? Being called to the work by God. A dream.Their gift? Deep humility. Trust in birth. A willingness to learn. The knowledge that their true work is to love the mother. Who Decides? Not long ago, an empirical midwife I met offered me a definition I’ve been holding close: A midwife is a midwife when recognised as such by her community. It’s such a simple sentence, and yet it pulls at so many threads — identity, authority, recognition, belonging. For me, this is not about deciding on one definition. It’s about opening the conversation and letting the questions breathe: Who gets to decide what a midwife is?How does language include… and exclude?And how might our own divisions be keeping us from serving mothers and babies as fully as we could? I’d love to explore these questions together in our upcoming Study Spiral. With love,Ruth Join this month’s Spiral → true-midwifery1.teachable.com/p/true-midwifery-study-spirals Last Spot in the Birth First Aid Course (starting 2...
Read MoreComing Back to the Simple
A heartfelt reflection on birth, physiology, and the wisdom shared by Michel Odent and Liliana Lammers. Coming back to the simple in True Midwifery.
Read MoreThe Basic Needs of Babies – a Time to Slow Down
In our fast-paced world, the arrival of a newborn offers an invitation to pause, reconnect, and reflect on what these smallest humans truly need from us. Maria Montessori spoke of the spiritual embryo, a phase of human development that is as significant as the physical growth within the womb. She believed that after birth, the newborn still requires a special, nurturing environment — animated, loving, warm, and rich with nourishment — where everything is done to accommodate, and nothing to hamper their development. This is the heart of The Basic Needs of Babies course and workshop. Designed for parents-to-be, new parents, grandparents, educators, health professionals, midwives, doulas, and birth attendants, this online course is a space to explore how we can gently and practically meet the fundamental needs of newborns. Whenever we gather to run this course, I am deeply moved by how it becomes a true time of deepening. Together, we slow down and become more present — for ourselves, for one another, and most importantly, for the babies arriving in our world. Course topics include:– Understanding the spiritual embryo and our responsibility in nurturing the newborn’s inner world– Creating a sense of belonging and authentic connection for newborns and families– Learning from pioneers such as Maria Montessori, Adele Costa Gnocchi, Frédérick Leboyer, Michel Odent, and Nils Bergman– Exploring the basic needs of mothers in labour and the newborn child– Becoming fluent in the language of newborns through behaviour and subtle cues– The neuroscience of connection and secure attachment This is a time to pause, to listen, and to remember what the youngest humans need to feel safe, seen, and welcomed into the world. The Basic Needs of Babies Course runs from 30 September 2025 to 21 April 2026, with an early bird discount available until 31 July 2025. Click here to book your...
Read MoreChildbirth, Eros and Sexuality
This has been a long requested Study Spiral and Debora is the perfect person to bring this offering to these sessions. She is a beautiful and tender birth attendant who truly understands what it means to guard and protect birth and she has immersed herself a myriad of teachings on intimacy, touch and sexuality. She has a deep understanding of how these worlds are intertwined and I very much look forward to what she will be sharing with us. In this session, we’re going to explore something truly extraordinary—the deep, interconnected system that makes human life on Earth possible. Menstruation, sexuality, orgasm, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding are all part of one grand design—a bridge between dimensions. This system connects cosmic and earthly consciousness, the divine and the animal, celestial mechanics and our physical bodies. The reproductive-sexual system is the sacred shrine where life itself is propagated, and in this session, we’ll restore a vision that brings birth and sexuality together into a single, beautiful tapestry. We’ll uncover how the continuity of life—across all species—is intimately linked to pleasure and eros. Join us as we honor the extraordinary system that sustains life and explore how birth and sexuality are woven together in ways that are both powerful and sacred. About Debora In the field of love and eros, I am an all-round activist, from the political-socio-cultural to the holistic-spiritual-shamanic perspective. I practice Yoga of Touch and facilitate circles, retreats and individual session on pleasure, intimacy, sensuality, relating, communication, emotional and bodywork. I am a birthkeeper and doula, deeply involved in public speaking and advocating in this field. I deal with attachment parenting, spontaneous learning, non-directive education, trauma and conditioning related to the primal period and childhood, unlearning, paradigm shifts. Death and grief doula. Facilitator of group processes. Passionate about deep ecology, bioregionalism, biophilia, I accompany groups and individuals in nature connection activities, wilderness awareness, outdoor education and experiential learning. MusicArTherapist, percussionist, vocalist, performer, dance teacher. I make goddesses and vulvas from clay. Traveller, expert in divergent lifestyles, activist. Debora’s Social Media Links Instagram Facebook Telegram To book for the upcoming study spiral see...
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