What Does Midwifery Mean to you?
Midwifery means seeing each woman for who she is and really seeing her, seeing that spark in her when even she cannot sense it.
Read MoreI was a ‘Difficult Patient’
The women in labour must have NO STRESS placed upon her. She must be free to move about, walk, rock, go to the bathroom by herself, lie on her side or back, squat or kneel, or anything she finds comfortable, without fear of being scolded or embarrassed. Nor is there any need for her to be either ‘quiet’ or ‘good.’ What is a ‘good’ patient? One who does whatever she is told who masks all the stresses she is feeling? Why can she not cry, or laugh, or complain? – Grantly Dick-Read My mother, who was my midwife for my first birth said that it was a good thing I had not given birth in the hospital. She said that they would have knocked me over the head and ordered me to behave and shut up. I am not ‘a good patient’ in labour…no…I am what you would call ‘a difficult patient’. I moan. I complain. I shout. I scream. I sing. I stamp my feet. I demand. I swear. I growl. I froth at the mouth. I even throw things. Oh, I tried. I really did. I tried to be good. I promise. I tried those breathing techniques that are supposed to keep you calm and focused and good. And they would work for a little while. In early labour. But at some point I would have to admit defeat and throw the breathing techniques out the window. They did not help me. They hindered me and the process. I needed to let go, I needed to allow the waves of pain to drown me, I needed to howl and scream my way through labour, I needed to lose myself completely in the fire of pain. I whimpered and wailed my way through my first labour, my mother’s patient eyes and gentle touch carrying me. It was hard and the intensity of the pain was unexpected. I paced the room like a caged tiger and felt like I was a roast chicken being ripped apart by some glutton. It felt like the labour, the pains would never end. But I also felt exultant and strong, especially when I became a lion on the tip of a mountain, full of spears, bleeding, dying but still strong and powerful and roaring. I squatted and I shouted and I pushed out a 5kg baby when I knew I couldn’t. I was not a good labourer, although my midwife at my second birth whispered into my ear that I was as she rubbed soothing oils into my burning lower back. “Yeah right,” I thought, “I bet you say that to everyone…” but inside I loved those words, I needed them. I spat out the orange she had just offered me and with renewed energy, I roared as I arched my back in agonising pain. My second labour took me by surprise. They all did. All four of them. Something does make you forget the intensity and when the labour actually begins there is that moment where you go “oh shit!” and then the roller coaster ride begins and you have to hold on for the ride as you buck through the contractions. It was bloody sore but then again, it was also bloody amazing. I had not realised how strong I was and I did push ups and roared to ease the pains and was taken to a place, a white hot place on the other side of pain where pain did not exist. It was incredible. Shamanic almost. The third time I laboured my baby was ‘late’…he had spent a good...
Read MoreWho Cares for the Midwives?
Midwifery can be very lonely. Midwifery is very much a calling and something that those who choose to walk this path, do because they want to ensure a safe and holy passage for mother and baby. Midwives believe in the sanctity of birth and know that protecting the mother during pregnancy and through the birthing process will ensure that the mother bonds with her baby and will make her a better mother. Midwives believe in women’s ability to birth and it is the midwife that is that solid rock during labour when the mother feels she can no longer do it. Midwives encourage. Midwives listen. Midwives trust. Midwives are there for the mother. Midwives are there for the father. Midwives are there for the baby. But who is there for the midwife? Who cares for the midwife? Who can she turn to when she has had a scary experience? Who rallies around her? Midwifery can be very lonely. When a midwife is called out to a birth at three in the morning and cold rain is ripping at the windscreen of her car, it can be very lonely. As the clock ticks and the world is asleep and no one else is awake, it can be very lonely. When a midwife writes up her notes and heads home to her bed it can be very lonely. When a midwife has to deal with an emergency, she has to think quickly on her feet and act to save a life, or two, it can be very lonely. When a midwife has to transfer to hospital and stay strong for the mother, all the while feeling worried herself, it can be lonely. So why do midwives do it? Why do they keep doing it? What drives them? Because it is a calling. There is a pull, something unstoppable. Because it is beautiful. The soft sigh of a woman finding her rhythm as she labours. The gentle splash as she moves about the birth pool. Because it is awe inspiring. To be a witness, a guardian, of the birth of a new life. Not only the birth of the baby, but also the birth of a mother. Because it is empowering. There is something incredible about a woman in labour tapping into her own innate instincts. Because it is...
Read More