I was 21 When I Realised I had a Superpower…

Posted by on Jul 17, 2019 in Writings

I was 21 When I Realised I had a Superpower…

I remember a surge piercing through me.

I was a lion, crouched at the top of a cliff, impaled with spears, roaring, in immense pain. But also in that moment, the most incredible strength coursed through me.

I arched my back and roared.

I felt my body opening up.

Immeasurable pain.

Immeasurable ecstasy.

Unbelievable strength.

And exultation.

Two weeks before my estimated due date, the first surges tickled me awake by urging my bowels to empty themselves.

I was 21 and labouring for the first time.

I was naive and innocent going into my first labour. I had no clue what to expect and Mistress Labour slapped me in the face.

I had to quickly put my big girl panties on.

The first few hours of early labour, gentle surges swaying my hips as I breathed them down, I thought,

“I’ve got this…this is easy…you just breathe through them.”

Yeah right….

When that first active surge slammed into my cervix I thought:

“FUUUUCK!”

I felt like a cowboy who’d lost control of his horse.

But somehow I was able to grab the reins and somehow with each surge, I stayed atop that bucking bronco called labour.

Yeeha!

And after 12 hours I pushed out a 5kg baby boy.

Giving birth to my first child, and birthing myself as a mother, changed and saved my life.

I was 21 when I realised how strong I was.

I was 21 when I held my warm and slippery baby against my chest for the first time and I realised how much love I had to give.

The seeds of love strength had always been in me but it was being given the space and time to navigate my way that watered those seeds and allowed them to sprout into the woman, mother and midwife I am today.

And for that, I am truly grateful.

And those seeds continue to grow…

I look forward to being a gnarled old tree one day.

To protect the seedlings still to come.

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